His Journal
by zielddhy
Summary: When Uryuu and Ichigo went to Ryuuken's office, they found a journal with a story behind it.


**Author's Note:** Yay! My first Isshin x Ryuuken!! I don't have much to say, so please proceed.

**Disclaimer:** Bleach and its characters belong to Kubo Tite.

**Warnings:** Shounen ai, character death

**His Journal**

**By Zielddhy**

_April 10__th__, 1978_

_Today is my first day in High School and I already dislike it. There was this rude brute who deliberately interrupted my study at the library. Why did he ask me, and not the librarian, about all those books he wanted? Thanks to him, I spent my first day rummaging through bookshelves rather than reading in peace._

_April 12__th__, 1978_

_I've learned that his name is Kurosaki Isshin. Apparently, he is a Shinigami. I didn't know that we are in the same class until he approached my desk this morning, asking me to join him in lunch._

"Kurosaki! Will you please make yourself productive and answer that damn door?" Uryuu was nowhere near patient. His hands were full, busily making something he called dinner – but snacks according to Ichigo – and that doorbell endless ringing clearly did not help at all.

"Okay, okay! Just finish making those dumplings!" Ichigo silently cursed as he strolled through the living room.

"What?!" The Shinigami barked not-so-gently as he swung open the offensive door.

"No need to get all snappy, Ishida Uryuu-san," said a grey-haired, tall man in his late forties.

Ichigo stared blankly and burst out laughing. "What, you think I'm that conceited guy with uncivilized temper and eerie hobby, greatly lacking any social skills?"

"I heard that!" an annoyed voice, undoubtedly belongs to a certain Quincy, called out.

"…Oh, forgive me then. I thought you were…well, is he at home?" the tall man stuttered.

"Yeah, come in. And you are, uh…"

"Manabu Noguchi, a partner in Noguchi Law Firm. I have an urgent business with Ishida Uryuu concerning a certain inheritance."

_July 6__th__, 1978_

_I know that not many wants to be my friend, but Kurosaki Isshin is certainly one of them. He made it perfectly clear today as I asked him why he never left me in peace. But I was completely unprepared for the answer and for the first time I started to look at him from a different angle._

_August 24__th__, 1978_

_I had a walk today with Isshin, yes I start calling him so, at his insistence of course. We went to a music store, which was just opened not two days ago. I have to say that I'm quite surprised that Isshin is actually know who Schubert was._

"What did you say?" Uryuu could not believe what he just heard.

"Your father has died, Ishida-san. That leaves you as his only heir."

"No way."

"I'm sorry, but this is the truth. They were too late to take him into the hospital after his car crashed."

"This is the last picture of him, just before he drew his last breath. It was taken from Karakura Hospital."

"Uryuu, I'm sorry."

"…"

"It's okay, I never consider him as my father, anyway." Uryuu snorted. "Ironic, isn't it? He died in his own hospital, a hospital which he looked after with such effort so he could save lives.

"And he died in it.

"He died. He died Ichigo. He died!" A hand clenched into fist as the owner tried his best to remain calm.

Another hand, a larger, calloused palm, tenderly held the clenched fist.

"He's a doctor, damn it! He's supposed to save the living! And how could he do that, when he himself is already dead!" A pair of arms enveloped him in a tight embrace and Uryuu buried himself in that strong, muscled chest.

"It's okay, Uryuu. Everything's gonna be okay."

A muffled sound floated across the room.

"He died, damn it."

_November 16__th__, 1980_

_I don't know that having a friend is so much fun. I don't know that having someone whom you can talk to about nearly everything is important. I don't know that having a friend means that you have someone there for you when you need them and vice versa. But I do know now, for I have experienced them myself, thanks to one Kurosaki Isshin._

_March 21__st__, 1981_

_Isshin managed to get into Karakura Medical School, an achievement from him, I dare say. I doubt he could manage it without my help, no matter how much he resents this _

_idea. For me, I'm glad that I can spend the next four years or more together with him._

"So, we're going to your house, eh?"

"It's not my house, Kurosaki, it's Ryuuken's. I haven't lived in it since I was twelve."

"Yeah, but it's your house now, no matter what you say."

"Shut up and walk."

_September 8__th__, 1983_

_I saw them together for the first time today. They were sitting behind a table in the campus cafeteria, but it was not I who sat there with him. It was Masaki, a second-year student from Psychology major. He had his arm slung over her shoulders, a thing that he did only to me until now._

_January 15__th__, 1984_

_I dislike Masaki. She is the reason why Isshin rarely comes to my apartment these last few months. She is the reason why Isshin always arrives at least two hours late for every and each of our appointments. She is the reason why Isshin spends less and less time with me. Damn her for this._

"Kurosaki, will you please make yourself useful and quit looking ridiculously at the lake?"

"What? It's your father's fault for having such a big backyard. I couldn't help but stare."

"He's not my father and please, put that sculpture down. It's four-hundreds-thousands yen, thank you very much."

"Tche. Damn rich people."

"I will pretend not to hear that."

"Whatever you say, pretty boy."

"Thank you, I'll take that as compliment."

"Tell me again, why am I doing this?"

"Because I need to clean Ryuuken's study. And you have to help me with it."

"I better get paid for this. How could your father read all these books, anyway? Medical, surgery, why I never see these in my dad's study?"

"Your father is a doctor too, you know. He must have them, buried somewhere in your house."

_March 9__th__, 1984_

_I despise the way Isshin smiles at her. It's such a true, genuine smile, a smile he never gave me. He grinned at me, yes, but he never smiled at me like that. A smile he saved only for Masaki, not me._

_October 13__th__, 1984_

_I hate the look in Isshin's eyes every time he sees Masaki. I hate the tenderness in those beautiful eyes. I hate the adoring, flattering look in them. They were supposed to be directed at me, and not her._

"Oi, Uryuu, what's wrong?"

"It's…it's my father's journal. I never knew he kept any journal."

"Well, you never bothered to know anyway. Plus he was an introvert, no wonder he had a journal."

"But it has your father in it, Kurosaki Isshin."

"What??"

_October 13__th__, 1984_

_I hate the look in Isshin's eyes every time he sees Masaki. I hate tenderness in those beautiful eyes. I hate the adoring, flattering look in them. They were supposed to be directed to me, and not to her._

_November 7__th__, 1984_

_I saw them kissing. They were sitting on the bench, the very same bench where I sat with him a year ago, when Isshin, no __**Kurosaki,**__ bought me a mug of steaming hot coffee for the first time. _

"Shit." Ichigo cursed. "I never know my dad knew your father."

"I never know that as well." Uryuu shook his head.

"Well, it hardly explains why he had to hate Shinigami that much, though."

"Yeah, he made that painfully clear when he helped me get my powers back."

"Maybe we can know something from this journal. Turn that page, Uryuu."

_July 1__st__, 1985_

_Today is their wedding day. I'm his best man. I know I should be happy, happy for him, happy that he marries her at last. I know how much he wants it to happen, oh I know it. For Kurosaki, it is his dream; a dream he yearns to make come true, much, much more than graduating as a doctor with me._

_July 2__nd__, 1985_

_I know it was much too late. I was such a fool, hoping that it was me in his arms, it was me who kissed him, it was me whom he gazed at tenderly, it was my cheek which he caressed lovingly. But it was not._

"My father was really a fool. Falling in love and never admitted it."

"…I don't think so. First of all, falling in love is never a foolish thing to do. No matter whom you fall in love with or when."

"…….."

"Plus…well, I know this is selfish, but if my parents never married, and yours too, we wouldn't be here. We would never meet, never know each other."

Ichigo's hands caressed Uryuu's cheek tenderly. "And I would never fall in love with you."

"Kurosaki."

"Hmm?"

"Things between us…it won't be like what happened between them." Ishida looked up, his eyes shining with doubt and fear. "Will it?"

Ichigo hugged his beloved in an instant. Uryuu's body trembled slightly and the Shinigami wrapped his arms tighter.

"No, you idiot. Things would be different. History will not repeat itself, I promise."

_July 3__rd__, 1985_

_I had wasted all these years by scowling at him, snapping offensive words as much as I could to him, foolishly refusing any kindness he tried to give me. If only I could turn back time, maybe things would be different now. But I cannot make the time turns back, as much as I want it to happen._

"Owh, Uryuu-kun!! Long time no see, kiddo!"

"Good afternoon, Kurosaki-san."

"You come to see Ichigo, eh? Sorry, he's not at home, went to check a shop or somethin'."

"No, I'm not looking for him. It's you, actually whom I want to meet."

"What??? No, no matter how attractive I am, you cannot have changed your interest from my beloved son to me!"

Uryuu felt a vein in his forehead twitching at that. He tried his best to remain calm and silently reminded himself that this was his boyfriend's father.

"It's not that Kurosaki-san. I want to give you this." He shoved the journal to Isshin's hands.

"What's this?"

"It's Ryuuken's journal. I think you should keep it. It's full of you, anyway." With that, Uryuu turned around, leaving a bewildered Kurosaki behind.

_July 4__th__, 1985_

_And all my chances to make him loves me had vanished into thin air before I know it. They have married before I can say anything. Damn him for making me feel this way. Damn you, Kurosaki, for making me fall in love with you._

**Author's Note: **I gotta go, so I just can say I hope you can enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoy writing it. Bye2!


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